Happy Birthday Vanessa!

I just realized when I posted that last bit that it's already tomorrow.

HAPPY 25th BIRTHDAY VANESSA!!!!

From the Farmer's Almanac:

If Your Birthday Is August 29:
When you choose, you can be an amusing and entertaining talker. You are fond of music and art, enjoy intellectual recreation, and like the society of cultured people. You are somewhat serious, and the lighter things do not interest you. You have few close friendships.

We hope you have a great birthday. We love you!

Insomnia

This has got to stop. I think I've slept no more than 5 hours a night for the last three or four nights. It's now 2:09, I went to bed at 9 because I was so exhausted, and I've been awake for almost an hour. Normally 5 hours of sleep would be adequate. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could make it work. NOT THIS WEEK! I have an enormous cake order that I've been working on full-time for the last two days, and have to decorate all of the cakes Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Hi, need sleep for that. I was just laying in my bed, wide awake. I'm so frustrated I could scream. But that would wake everyone else in the house up and make this a terrible situation! I'm back to bed . . . wish me luck.

Pathetic

What kind of life do I live? It's a Friday night, my husband and children are all asleep, and it's 7 PM. And I'm THRILLED! I've already cleaned all of the carpets, cleaned the bathroom, done two loads of laundry, and I'm off to empty/refill the dishwasher. Then I'm going to plop down on the couch and relax for the night. Or until I fall asleep. And I'm so excited about this!! I really am 30, aren't I?

There Should be a Handbook For This

This whole being a responsible adult should come with a handbook.

Lesson number one:
Who knew dogs needed their ANAL GLANDS CLEANED?! Lucy's been dragging her hiney all over the house for two days now. This morning she was licking her bum like it was her job. Come on, that's disgusting. I asked Henry if he pooped in his diaper because the room smelled so bad. Nope -- it was Lucy's freaking anal glands secreting all over the damn house. I looked up "dog dragging bum" on the Internet. I'm very technical. I quickly learned that it was most likely that her anal glands needed to be cleaned. WHAT?! Freaking sick. After reading the do-it-yourself version on the Internet, paying close attention to the portion instructing me to insert one finger into my dog's BUTT HOLE to squeeze her gland with strong pressure, I quickly dialed the vet. Thankfully they were able to squeeze her right in. Let me tell you, the stench coming from her rear after having her bum cleaned could kill a cow. Yikes. I'm soooooo glad I didn't wait longer! And why on earth would someone opt to do that at home? It only cost $16!

Lesson number two:
Preschool aged boys are obsessed with their genitalia. Every time I turn around, David's naked with his penis in his hand. If I hear one more time, "OH MY! It's getting SO BIG!" I'm going to lose it. I think I say, "That's private" about 147 times a day. I don't want to see that!

I trust there will be many more lessons to come, as I have to learn them the hard way. Without a handbook.

Pregnancy - week 17 (already?!)

Week 17: Rehearsal (for Baby's) Dinner

Your baby is about five inches long and more than three and a half ounces — the size of your open hand. Baby's body fat is beginning to form and will continue to accumulate through the end of your pregnancy.

How big is your baby now? About five inches long and more than three and a half ounces — the size of your open hand. (Open the other one too and imagine your baby cradled in both your arms right after delivery!) Body fat (baby's, that is) is beginning to form and will continue to accumulate through the end of your pregnancy. By the time your baby is born, body fat will make up about two-thirds of his or her weight (and will make all those chubby parts especially yummy). Your baby is almost certainly listening up by now. In fact, loud noises — the dog barking, the doorbell ringing — will actually startle your baby (and also get him or her used to such noises; for instance, fetuses who regularly hear a dog barking will become babies who sleep right through Fido's outbursts).

Your baby's eyes (which have fortunately finished their migration to the front of his or her head) are making small side-to-side movements and can even perceive some light, though the eyelids are still sealed. And since practice makes perfect, your baby is sharpening his or her sucking and swallowing skills in preparation for that first (and second…and third) suckle at your breast or bottle. In fact, most of the survival reflexes that your baby will have at birth are being perfected in utero right now.

And here's some proof that your baby is truly one of a kind (as if you needed any!). Within the next week or so, the pads on your baby's fingertips and toes will become adorned with completely individual swirls and creases (aka fingerprints).

Hippie Chick

Yes, that's me. A certified hippie chick. Laughing yet? Anyone who knows me is, because I'm about as far from "hippie" anything as you can get! It's official -- we're going to try cloth/gdiapering our baby. I bought a bunch of them (NEW, not used!) from a woman on craigslist who decided that cloth diapering wasn't for her. They're so freaking cute! They're all fuzzy and soft. Heck, I want to wear them! I hope we like it, because they look so much more cozy than a disposable diaper. I almost feel bad putting disposables on Henry now! These are not your mama's cloth diapers -- they've got snaps, Velcro, etc. and are much more easy to use than the ones with the pins. I remember there was always a cloth diaper soaking in the toilet when VJ was little! They even sell a hand held shower attachment for the toilet to rinse the poo off into the toilet. I'm excited to try this. One would think that after changing diapers for three years I wouldn't get excited about changing more. . .

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, and the whole family is going. David and Henry are very curious about the baby, what it's doing in there, etc. so we're all going to make the trip. That should be interesting. We'll hear the heartbeat, and if it can't be found (which was the case with Henry about 99% of the time) she'll do a quick ultrasound. I'm almost hoping she can't hear it, just so D&H can see the little bug. Next month we'll find out what it is!

Damn it!

So obviously Chris and I need to be more aware of what we're saying, as David and Henry's new catch phrase is, "Damn it!" Sometimes even with God thrown into the mix. I can just hear David as he starts at his new Methodist preschool in a couple of weeks, learning about God and adding his own commentary to the discussion. . .