Baby Update

Ok, so I'm a bit late in this post. I had a doctor's appointment last Wednesday. I've only gained one pound this month (at a time when people are typically gaining around a pound a week), due to my incredible indigestion. I'm on a prescription for it now, and it's made a HUGE difference. I have no doubt I'll be packing the pounds on this month! Jack's measuring almost a week ahead of where he should be. Because of that, combined with Henry being a large baby, she changed my c-section date. As of now, I'm scheduled for January 22. She thinks Jack will be bigger than Henry was, and she was nervous to keep my delivery later than the 22nd in case I went into labor on my own. I would have preferred my original date of the 25th, only because it worked better for scheduling Chris' days off, child care for D&H while I'm in the hospital, etc. but things don't always work out the way I want them to. And I'm pretty sure by then I'll be ready to get him out! I'm still feeling really good, no complications, etc. I start going to the doctor every 2 weeks now for a month, then every week until I deliver. I think it's going to go by FAST, especially since there are only 58 days until January 22nd! I have all of his clothes washed, Chris will finish painting his room tomorrow, and all of the baby furniture is down from the attic. We're making progress!

GROSS!

Seriously, what is wrong with my children? Do normal children act like them? Their favorite game to play is "naked boy", stripping down to nothing and running around the house like animals. They were doing this on Wednesday night and eventually ended up on the living room floor pretty much wrestling. David was laying on his stomach laughing and -- how can I say this nicely? -- passed gas like a 50 year old fat man. Henry, for some unknown reason, stuck his nose in David's bum and took a big sniff. WHAT THE HELL?! Chris and I were cracking up (and I am now as I type this!). Henry immediately got up, and I said, "What did you just do?" He said, literally retching as he was telling us, "I *GAG* smelled David's *GAG* booty and toot! *GAG*" I said, "That's yucky! How did it smell?" Henry replied, "*GAG* Well, not like candy." Um, you think?!

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

This is David and Henry's Christmas tree. . . it's beautiful! They had a good time decorating it. And since have had a good time taking the decorations off and repositioning them. Perfectionists.

Elf Yourself

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9594848369

Ugh

I'm sure there's some fine line between what my children say that can be shared, and what should not be shared. Lucky for you (?), I've not discovered that line yet. With the expanding girth going on in my stomach area, there's been lots of discussion lately about babies, boys vs. girls, how babies get in bellies, etc. As well as just their normal crazy talk. Here are some excerpts and things overheard in our house lately.

David: Daddy, how to babies eat? How will baby Jack eat with no teeth?

Chris: Mommy will feed him special baby milk. (Right, like that was enough of an answer!)

David: From she's boobies?

Chris: Yes.

David: Will you feed the baby from you boobies?

Chris: No, only girls can do that.

David: Will Gigi feed Jack from she's boobies?

Chris: NO! ONLY MOMMY WILL FEED HIM! NO OTHER BOOBIES! EVER! Let's go get some apple juice.

I was in D&H's bedroom yesterday morning getting night diapers off, underpants on, etc. I said, "Are you guys hungry this morning?" Henry replied, yanking his shirt up to his neck, "Yeah Mama. Are you? You want to eat from my boobies like a baby?" Um, no thanks.

David and Henry were yakking in the backseat yesterday and I hear David say, "Oh Damn! Oh brothers! Oh Damn! Oh Brothers!" I said, "What did you just say?" David said, "Oh Damn! Oh Brothers!" I said, "David, we don't say that. It doesn't sound nice." David said, "What? Brothers? I think brothers are nice." I said, "No David, Oh Damn doesn't sound nice." He said, "MAMA! I meant BEAVER DAMN!" Ok, seriously, how does a three year old think that quickly? You know DAMN well he didn't mean beaver damn!!!!

Pilgrim David

Gobble Gobble!

Pilgrim Mama, as photographed by David

Whoa Belly, part 2

OK, I had to go back and review. The first picture in this post is me THREE DAYS before I had David. The second is me today, TEN WEEKS (!) before having Jack. Be very, very scared. I think we'll be pushing the skin stretching limits with this one!

Whoa Belly

Big belly. New hair.

Look no Further

So I read in the newspaper yesterday morning that the producers of the Bravo TV show "The Real Housewives of Orange County" (one of my favorite shows) are looking for Nashville area "Real Housewives" for a show. UM, HELLO! Did you not read the title of this blog?! Please, the Simpson house would make for great TV. Some of the highlights could be:

• Our daily trips to Target. The viewers would love to see me wandering the aisles aimlessly, not buying anything, but just going to get out of the house. Me stuffing my two 40 pound a piece toddlers and my 7 months pregnant self into the available bathroom stall (never the "big one"), flushing the toilet an average of 9 times per visit, two of us peeing and one touching every surface in the stall, and Henry acting as a peeping Tom to every stall around us, then me frantically trying to slather D&H in antibacterial gel before they touch each other or their mouths.
• David and Henry's new favorite game -- naked boy. They both strip and chase each other around the house screaming NAKED BOY! Then some naked wrestling ensues when they finally catch each other. I thought I had like 18 years until that behavior would go on. And hopefully I wouldn't know about it.
• D&H and their obsessions with baginas. Or angina, as David calls it. They talk about them all day long, ask if every freaking person we know has one, and look for their own. Right. Keep looking.
• Dinner at our house. I'm pretty certain that the Real Housewives of OC wouldn't allow their children to eat ranch dressing with a spoon for dinner. Keep in mind that my dinner rule is I pick what's for dinner, you eat what you want off of your plate. If that's ranch dressing, fine. H. opted to ignore the lovely homemade chicken fingers, steamed broccoli, and corn on his plate in favor of the ranch. Yum.
• The laundry. Seriously, do the RHOOC send their laundry out to be cleaned? They never show them doing any.
• I'm sure the main focus of the show would be me going to the bathroom, since that's the main focus of our house. Gone are any days of privacy. I always have an audience. And I mean a CLOSE audience. As in, pretty much touching the bowl while I'm peeing. As in, "Mama, I DON'T WANT IT TO BE SMELLY IN HERE!" When do children learn about privacy and closing the door??
• I'm sure one highlight shown on the commercials would be from last night when we were leaving McDonald's. David and Henry decided they hadn't had quite enough fast food and opted to bolt across the small strip of grass to Sonic instead of getting in the car. As I darted after them and grabbed them I said, "Good Lord boys! Get in the damn car!" and David happily replied, "Yeah Henry, get in the damn car!" Hi, call child protective services now.

I'm positive we'd have high ratings. . . or maybe I should just stick to writing about our daily lives!

Countdowns

I love a countdown. Countdowns to get David and Henry to stop playing and come inside (as in, counting down from screaming out the back door, "YOU HAVE FIVE MORE MINUTES!"), countdowns until we're done brushing teeth, countdowns until it's time to swap toys, etc. Right now we have two big countdowns going on: the countdown until Christmas and the Jack countdown. This is the first year that David really "gets" Christmas. Not as in the Christian meaning of getting it. As in the SANTA meaning. He knows exactly what he wants to ask Santa for. And it's this Disney Cars Mega Mack playset. http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2718764 It's all he talks about. He carries the Toys R Us big toy book around the house to gaze longingly at the picture. He brings the book to the bathroom and to bed with him. We have a copy in the car for emergencies when he NEEDS TO SEE MACK RIGHT NOW. He asks when we can go see Santa to tell him about Mack. He wants to know how to get to the North Pole. I think he gets it. Henry, not so much. I asked him what he wanted Santa to bring and, after thinking for a minute said, "Well I know not ice cream!" Um, OK. Today, however, he did talk about how he wishes he had a Disney Little Einsteins Pat Pat Rocket. Right, like the one he thinks we bought for JT, but is really for him. He even said, "JT going to get one!" This is a picture of them "reading" the TRU toy book tonight. They chose to look at that rather than have stories before bed!

The Jack countdown is another story. Just over ten weeks left, and so much to do! In those ten weeks we'll have Thanksgiving, visiting Santa, David's Christmas program at school, four birthday parties, two Christmas parties, and Christmas itself. That would make me tired, even if I wasn't pregnant! We also need to get everything out of Jack's room (computer has been taken care of!), paint it, put the furniture back together and get it organized, move the toys to David and Henry's room, and paint their room, reorganize our master closet to get the dresser for Jack out, and put up more shelving to better utilize our space in that closet. YIKES! We better get going!

We don't have much planned this week. David has school tomorrow and Wednesday. I'll be using my time while he's at school tomorrow to shred a bunch of files, papers, etc. that I cleaned out of our desk while I was moving the stuff to the new computer armoire. Then I plan to start sewing some stuff for Jack, now that I have a nice clean desk to work on! I'm going to take advantage of that space before Chris takes it down later this week. We're going to get the paint for Jack's room and hopefully get that painted next weekend. Once it's painted, I'll feel like we're well on our way.

My mom got D&H some new winter headbands this weekend, and these are some funny pictures of them trying them on. David loves his, and Henry apparently thinks his is a sweatband.

The Many Faces of Henry

Captions provided by Henry. Ignore the snack still on his face. . .

"My silliest face. Dat's my tongue."

"This is how I kiss. I weally love kissing."

"I'm getting strong as Daddy. See my muscles?"

"I WEALLY handsome!"

Long time no post

I have several things to update, but they'll be done in multiple posts. I feel like my computer time these days is in 5 minute bursts, because David and Henry are acting especially wicked. Example number one:

I ran to the grocery store last week for a very quick trip. I was probably gone less than 20 minutes. When I got back, I brought a load of stuff in then ran back out to get the second trip, leaving the door from our kitchen to garage open as I went. I came back in, unloaded the stuff I bought, dropped a gallon of milk and started cleaning it up. Chris came into the kitchen from our computer room and said, "Where's Henry?" I told him I didn't know, and he said, "Wasn't he in here when you got home?" UM, NO! So he goes to the end of the house with the boys room and calls him, and I called him from the kitchen. I hear a tiny voice say, "I in here!" from our master bathroom. Immediately my stomach dropped. I walked quickly through our room, and Henry met me in our room. As he was coming out of the bathroom he said, "I washing with this soap." Right. It wasn't soap covering his belly, arms, and hair. It was an entire bottle of Oil of Olay face moisturizer, and a full tube of VAGISIL. Seriously child, what the hell? Chris came in and said, "What's on him? Diaper cream?" Well, sort of! I said no and Henry said, "What it is?!" I told Chris what it was and Henry said, "Soap for baginas?" So I cleaned him up and thought the incident would be a funny story. It got funnier. . . the next day Henry and I went to Home Depot to look for paint colors. He's sitting in the shopping cart and waving to the man who works at the paint counter. I was looking at paint and I heard Henry say, "I wash my hands bagina cream." To the freaking Home Depot guy. Are you kidding me? The man said, "What did he say?" and I quickly turned to leave while smiling and thanking him. And Henry was screaming, "I WASH MY HANDS BAGINA CREAM!"

We bought our paint at Lowe's.