Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Happy Birthday Vanessa!

I just realized when I posted that last bit that it's already tomorrow.


From the Farmer's Almanac:

If Your Birthday Is August 29:
When you choose, you can be an amusing and entertaining talker. You are fond of music and art, enjoy intellectual recreation, and like the society of cultured people. You are somewhat serious, and the lighter things do not interest you. You have few close friendships.

We hope you have a great birthday. We love you!


This has got to stop. I think I've slept no more than 5 hours a night for the last three or four nights. It's now 2:09, I went to bed at 9 because I was so exhausted, and I've been awake for almost an hour. Normally 5 hours of sleep would be adequate. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I could make it work. NOT THIS WEEK! I have an enormous cake order that I've been working on full-time for the last two days, and have to decorate all of the cakes Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Hi, need sleep for that. I was just laying in my bed, wide awake. I'm so frustrated I could scream. But that would wake everyone else in the house up and make this a terrible situation! I'm back to bed . . . wish me luck.

Friday, August 24, 2007


What kind of life do I live? It's a Friday night, my husband and children are all asleep, and it's 7 PM. And I'm THRILLED! I've already cleaned all of the carpets, cleaned the bathroom, done two loads of laundry, and I'm off to empty/refill the dishwasher. Then I'm going to plop down on the couch and relax for the night. Or until I fall asleep. And I'm so excited about this!! I really am 30, aren't I?

There Should be a Handbook For This

This whole being a responsible adult should come with a handbook.

Lesson number one:
Who knew dogs needed their ANAL GLANDS CLEANED?! Lucy's been dragging her hiney all over the house for two days now. This morning she was licking her bum like it was her job. Come on, that's disgusting. I asked Henry if he pooped in his diaper because the room smelled so bad. Nope -- it was Lucy's freaking anal glands secreting all over the damn house. I looked up "dog dragging bum" on the Internet. I'm very technical. I quickly learned that it was most likely that her anal glands needed to be cleaned. WHAT?! Freaking sick. After reading the do-it-yourself version on the Internet, paying close attention to the portion instructing me to insert one finger into my dog's BUTT HOLE to squeeze her gland with strong pressure, I quickly dialed the vet. Thankfully they were able to squeeze her right in. Let me tell you, the stench coming from her rear after having her bum cleaned could kill a cow. Yikes. I'm soooooo glad I didn't wait longer! And why on earth would someone opt to do that at home? It only cost $16!

Lesson number two:
Preschool aged boys are obsessed with their genitalia. Every time I turn around, David's naked with his penis in his hand. If I hear one more time, "OH MY! It's getting SO BIG!" I'm going to lose it. I think I say, "That's private" about 147 times a day. I don't want to see that!

I trust there will be many more lessons to come, as I have to learn them the hard way. Without a handbook.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Pregnancy - week 17 (already?!)

Week 17: Rehearsal (for Baby's) Dinner
Your baby is about five inches long and more than three and a half ounces — the size of your open hand. Baby's body fat is beginning to form and will continue to accumulate through the end of your pregnancy.
How big is your baby now? About five inches long and more than three and a half ounces — the size of your open hand. (Open the other one too and imagine your baby cradled in both your arms right after delivery!) Body fat (baby's, that is) is beginning to form and will continue to accumulate through the end of your pregnancy. By the time your baby is born, body fat will make up about two-thirds of his or her weight (and will make all those chubby parts especially yummy). Your baby is almost certainly listening up by now. In fact, loud noises — the dog barking, the doorbell ringing — will actually startle your baby (and also get him or her used to such noises; for instance, fetuses who regularly hear a dog barking will become babies who sleep right through Fido's outbursts).
Your baby's eyes (which have fortunately finished their migration to the front of his or her head) are making small side-to-side movements and can even perceive some light, though the eyelids are still sealed. And since practice makes perfect, your baby is sharpening his or her sucking and swallowing skills in preparation for that first (and second…and third) suckle at your breast or bottle. In fact, most of the survival reflexes that your baby will have at birth are being perfected in utero right now.
And here's some proof that your baby is truly one of a kind (as if you needed any!). Within the next week or so, the pads on your baby's fingertips and toes will become adorned with completely individual swirls and creases (aka fingerprints).

Hippie Chick

Yes, that's me. A certified hippie chick. Laughing yet? Anyone who knows me is, because I'm about as far from "hippie" anything as you can get! It's official -- we're going to try cloth/gdiapering our baby. I bought a bunch of them (NEW, not used!) from a woman on craigslist who decided that cloth diapering wasn't for her. They're so freaking cute! They're all fuzzy and soft. Heck, I want to wear them! I hope we like it, because they look so much more cozy than a disposable diaper. I almost feel bad putting disposables on Henry now! These are not your mama's cloth diapers -- they've got snaps, Velcro, etc. and are much more easy to use than the ones with the pins. I remember there was always a cloth diaper soaking in the toilet when VJ was little! They even sell a hand held shower attachment for the toilet to rinse the poo off into the toilet. I'm excited to try this. One would think that after changing diapers for three years I wouldn't get excited about changing more. . .

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, and the whole family is going. David and Henry are very curious about the baby, what it's doing in there, etc. so we're all going to make the trip. That should be interesting. We'll hear the heartbeat, and if it can't be found (which was the case with Henry about 99% of the time) she'll do a quick ultrasound. I'm almost hoping she can't hear it, just so D&H can see the little bug. Next month we'll find out what it is!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Damn it!

So obviously Chris and I need to be more aware of what we're saying, as David and Henry's new catch phrase is, "Damn it!" Sometimes even with God thrown into the mix. I can just hear David as he starts at his new Methodist preschool in a couple of weeks, learning about God and adding his own commentary to the discussion. . .

What was she thinking?

Today was the start of Star Jones' new show on Court TV. I admit she's irritating. However, I was mildly interested. I thought it would be a good background noise while I folded laundry. I quickly changed my mind when I saw that the first guest she introduced was Geraldo Rivera. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! He's so full of himself, pompous, and irritating (even more so than SJ herself)! I didn't make it 2 minutes watching the show. I'd rather watch C-SPAN.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Who are these children?

Let's play identify the baby! (Not too difficult, considering the date is at the bottom of one of the photos!) I cannot believe that David and Henry were ever this little, nor can I believe that in approximately 23 weeks (that's only 161 days, for those playing the home version) we'll have another tiny baby. That is NOT a long time! I also think it's funny that David and Henry both still make the faces they're making in these photos!

Glutton for punishment

What would posses me to take another cake order for September 1? I'm doing SIX CAKES for one party already that day!!! I need an assistant.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Lab results

The nurse practitioner called today with David's lab results. Of course, I wasn't home. She can't leave labs on an answering machine, but she did say that "everything looks good". She asked me to call tomorrow so she can go over some nutritional information with me, as well as give me some websites to reference. Big relief!


Last night was the series premiere of the Showtime show Californication. The show was OK - probably not something, under normal circumstances, that I would watch again. However, these are no normal circumstances. Californication signals the return of my love. DAVID DUCHOVNY. I cannot express my love for this man. I have had an enormous crush on him since the X-Files, which was a show I hated! Seriously, I would take a second husband if it could be David Duchovny. Chris knows, and I think he'd be OK with it. So watch the show if you need a Duchovny fix. But don't look too closely at him. I don't want anyone else lusting after him and creating competition.

Monday, August 13, 2007

It's been a while!

First, let me say happy belated birthday to my Grammy. Her birthday was yesterday, and I neglected to post. Soooo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRAMMY! I love you and miss you!

We had a fun, fairly uneventful weekend. We went to Chris' parents house on Saturday to celebrate his birthday. My parents came too. We had a nice time, even though it was like 105 degrees. Being pregnant during a heat wave in TN isn't fun. The boys also got their hair cut on Saturday morning, which is always so fun to do.

Sunday we hung out here, cleaned up, I read a book, and David and Henry played with their train table, which has been returned to their room. They were so excited! They're WAY into trains right now, so they've pretty much been playing with it since it was brought back in. I really need to go through the rest of the toys we took out of their room and purge about three quarters of them before anything returns to their room. We have far too many toys. We went swimming yesterday afternoon at my parents house, then came home and went to bed.

Today David had a doctor's appointment to talk about his paper eating. His doctor told us it's called Pica, and it occurs in 20% of children over 3 years old. It's typically related to an Iron or Zinc deficiency, so he had a blood test today. We'll get the results tomorrow, but we're going to increase his iron nutritionally, regardless. If the blood test comes back with decreased levels, we'll also add a vitamin supplement. So if anyone has any good green veggie, kid friendly recipes, toss them my way!

I finalized the plans for a HUGE cake order today. It's for a Bat Mitzvah, for which there are 340 confirmed guests so far. I'm doing two large cakes as the "main desserts" and 4 smaller cakes for other various relatives of the party girl, who will also be celebrating things that weekend. Yes, 6 cakes. And I need to make them and decorate them at the Kosher kitchen at the Jewish Community Center in Nashville. It will certainly be a different way for me to do things, but I'm excited about it. I love the theme of the party, and the people I'm doing it for are SO nice. It's a huge order and will be a lot of work, but I think it will be a fun challenge for me. Hopefully they turn out well!

I'm off to clean up my dishes from dinner, fold some laundry, and have a snack. I'm starving!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Lots of Birthdays!


Today is my husband's 35th birthday.


Today is my friend Nicole's 35th birthday too.


Today is the 2nd birthday of my good friend Stephanie's twins.

So many birthdays today! Some famous people born today are Dustin Hoffman, The Edge, and Robin Quivers. That particular combination makes me giggle. From the Farmer's Almanac:

If Your Birthday Is August 8
You have a very sensitive, intuitive nature, with almost psychic powers. You have fine executive ability and are particularly apt in handling people. Your personal desires and wishes are given preference in your family. You are affectionate and sincere.

The psychic powers part is a little iffy to me, but the rest sounds good!
I've called the pediatrician about David eating paper. It's frequent enough that it's bothering me. I haven't heard back from her yet. He's giving me a real run for my money with his behavior lately! I need to get a book about parenting a strong willed child.
I have dinner in the oven and my timer just went off. Have a great night!

Saturday, August 4, 2007


Hi everyone! We're having a nice weekend so far. Friday David had speech, and he was very funny. He says some crazy stuff for a 3 year old. His speech therapist and I talked about his potty accidents lately and his eating paper. Yes, paper. I have no idea what he's doing it for. She's going to ask an occupational therapist if they have any idea, since he's never had any oral sensory issues. He does it ALL THE TIME. Anytime he can get his hands on some paper he's hiding in a corner, under the bed, behind the TV, in the bathroom, in the tub, etc. to chow down on some pulp. He even tried to eat the bag his donut came in on Friday. She suggested we just ignore it or just take the paper away and don't say anything. She thinks it might be an attention thing. Ugh. It makes me mental, so let's change the subject.

Friday night David, Henry, Mom, and I went to Mt. Juliet to get a couple of things for a cake and to look for some maternity clothes for me. (Chris was in bed -- the whole working nights thing sucks on Friday.) We went to Old Navy, JC Penney, Joann's, and Target. Just for popcorn at Target! I found ONE shirt. Are you kidding me? Everything was either for a stretch pants/leggings kind of pregnant mama or for a slutty pregnant mama. Neither of which am I. I ended up ordering some clothes when I got home. I'm quickly approaching the point that I'm needing some, and don't want to wake up one morning with nothing that fits. Other than some stretch pants.

Today we went swimming at my parents' house. David is a fish. Oddly enough, he HATES to get his face wet in the tub, but will swim under water all day long. My mom was taking some plants off the deck to water and left the gate to the upper portion of the deck (with the pool access) open. Henry took that opportunity to run up the stairs and jump right into the pool. Sneaky little weasel. He landed on a float, thankfully, but quickly slid off of it. My mom was in the pool so fast I didn't even know what was going on! We left after that and went home to nap. We went back to have dinner with Gigi tonight. It was very good, and we had a nice time.

Tomorrow we have no plans, other than a cake I have to deliver in the afternoon. The party is outside at a park. . . I hope they're planning to eat the cake quickly, because it's supposed to be 102 degrees tomorrow.

Speaking of the weather. I shouldn't have complained about how hot it was going to be this week. The extended forecast looks like this: Sunday will be the cool day at 102, Monday 104, Tuesday 105, Wednesday 105, Thursday 106, Friday 110, Saturday 105, Sunday 102, and Monday a balmy cool 99. I'm sorry -- clearly we've moved to ARIZONA and nobody freaking told me. We were supposed to go to the zoo on Wednesday. I'll let you know right now that ain't happenin'.

I also just want to tell my grampy I hope he's feeling well! I'm thinking about you Grampy, and I love you!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

Baby Bums

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me that I've spent the better part of the last three and a half years checking out bums. I've read that the average baby goes through 9-11 diapers per day. That means we've changed roughly 11,800 diapers over the course of the lives of our two children. Strangely enough, I don't hate changing diapers. If I had to list my favorite parts of being a mother, certainly wiping butts wouldn't be on the list, but I don't abhor it. I just don't really think about it, it's so routine for me at this point. Since we'll soon be having a third bum to inspect and clean, I've started thinking more about the little booty. (I'm really hoping to have Henry potty trained by the time the new baby's born, so for the sake of argument, let's assume he will be.) Henry and David have always had very sensitive skin. Sensitive skin on the booty leads to numerous diaper rashes. Also, let's face it. Henry has a fat ass. He gets it from his mama. A fat baby ass in plastic diapers all day long leads to more rashes and irritation. Who wants an irritated ass?

I've started doing some research on cloth diapering. I know -- if you know me at all you just snorted whatever you're drinking through your nose. I'm so not a cloth diapering poster child. I really like the benefits the child gets from cloth diapering, but don't really like the added laundry. I'll already be washing laundry for two adults, two toddlers, and a newborn. That's a lot of laundry. I don't need to add crappy diapers to wash as well. Sooooo, I've found a product called the g diaper. No plastic junk like disposable diapers, cloth diaper covers on the outside, and you stuff the diaper cover with a plastic free flushable insert. Yes, flushable. You can also throw it away or garden compost it, if you choose to do so. They're made of a breathable material, thus fewer diaper rashes. The only washing is the cloth diaper cover portion. We're going to try them out. Better for baby, better for the environment. Since when do I care about the environment you ask? Much like changing diapers -- it's not that I don't care. I just don't really think about it much. Hey, we recycle.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

OK, when you watch the news in the morning and the weather guy says, "We have an extreme air quality warning today. TRY NOT TO BREATHE OUTSIDE," what are you really supposed to do with that information? Try not to breathe outside?! Right. Well, we didn't follow those directions exactly. And we made it. We're officially having a "heat wave" this week. It's supposed to be 99 tomorrow, 98 Friday, 98 Saturday, 100 Sunday, and 98 on Monday. . . I know, I know -- I live in Tennessee and I should be used to it. I wasn't saying I dislike the heat. Just merely pointing out it's hotter than normal. And I don't want to go outside tomorrow. If I do, I'll hold my breath.

We went swimming today with our buds Rachael and Melanie. They each have two children also, so there were 3 mothers and 6 children, all 3 or under. We're seriously gluttons for punishment. Although, I have to say, with the exception of (of course) Henry giving Tyler and Jenna sand shampoos, everyone was VERY well behaved. We had a nice day. Even though we had to hold our breath for the 4 hours we spent outside. We're lucky we survived.

I'm having some major sneezing/nose running/general grossness going on. I don't know if it's allergies or just stuffy pregnant nose. Or the inordinate amount of time I've spent under water in the last two days as David and Henry scream from their respective posts on the side of the pool, "WALK ON YOUR HANDS!" They may as well add BITCH! to the end of that with the way they demand I perform under water tricks! Tomorrow's going to be a lazy day of coloring, play dough, painting, puzzles, and reading stories. I have some cleaning to catch up on, some baking to do, and some sewing I'd love to finish. (And I'm sure Julie would love for me to finish too, since it's a baby gift. That I started in May. For her child who is three weeks old now.) I'll be very happy if we don't leave the house! (Although, I'll be happier if David poops in the toilet and I have to pony up the donut I'm trying to bribe him with. . . )

I'm off to bed. All of the sun and holding my breath today has me tired!