Monday, March 31, 2008
On the way home after school Jack was crying in the car. David said, "Mama, PLEASE turn Jack off!" I told him that I couldn't and he said, "Just press the button. The one on his belly will turn. Him. Off." Oh, if it were just that easy! He also said, "Honey, thank you for my special day at school today." I thought that he called me honey but wasn't sure, so I asked what he said and he repeated it. Too funny.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
And, of course, the cake. It was a white almond sour cream cake with strawberry jam filling and buttercream icing. We had very little left, so it must have been good!
All of our family friends were there, our family - Gigi, (Grampy couldn't come -- he had to be at the store) Gramps, Nan, Uncle Clayton, Auntie Vanessa, "she's Jarrod", Uncle Jack, Aunt Evelyn, as well as three of his friends from school. David was so excited to see them all! Here are a couple more photos. And a big thank you to all of our friends for coming to share his day -- he had a wonderful time!
Positive and aggressive, you enjoy having people around you. The men born on this day are fortunate and successful in business. The women are good housekeepers, insofar as management of the household and family affairs are concerned, but actual housework is distasteful to them.
March 28, 2004
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Day 2 -- this photo was taken after getting a steroid shot at the pediatrican's office.
Day 3 -- His eyes were swollen shut that morning when he woke up and his lips were swollen with hives. That mottled/brown skin look on his trunk and arms lasted two weeks.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
His kissy-face look. I can't decide if he looks like an Olsen twin with that lame face they make in EVERY single picture I see of them, or like he's trying to pick up the ladies. I'm leaning toward picking up the ladies.
And one of him now, two months old!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
1. The Easter bunny better get hoppin' around here, because that rabbit's got some freaking work to do. Those eggs won't fill themselves!
2. D, oh child of mine who never stops talking, said in the car yesterday, "Mama, that red octagon over there says S-T-O-P stop." OK, what?! How does he know that?
3. Hurricane Henry needs to slow down. I swear he knocks his head on something, falls down, trips, etc. every single day. That child will visit the ER more times than the other two children combined, I suspect. Today he smacked his head on the train table while he was bending over. HELLO! Look where you're going!
4. D got his ass whooped at school yesterday by the smallest boy in the class. And, were I not such a classy gal, I might have whooped the boy who did it! He smacked D in the eye with a cup at lunch. And the teacher didn't say anything about it to me! I'm going to talk to them in the morning when I drop him off.
5. J must be having a growth spurt, because yesterday he was a major crab and spent the day crying or eating. Literally, eating all day long. Today he's done nothing but sleep. He has his 2 month check on Friday at the pediatrician, and I can't wait to see what he weighs.
6. D and H were playing outside yesterday and BOTH peed and pooped in their pants. Seriously, what are they thinking? They both know to come in to go to the bathroom. And today David did it again! OK, I can buy that an accident will happen occasionally. Um, 2 days in a row? I think not. I made him come in and wouldn't let him go back out after he got cleaned up. That's just laziness that caused the poop today.
7. I got new Bare Escentuals makeup this weekend and am LOVING it.
8. I do at least two loads of laundry every day, but I can never seem to put it away! I fold it, put it in the basket with the best of intentions, and it doesn't get put away until I need the basket again. WHY is that such a difficult thing to get done around here?!
9. My children have been playing outside tons lately, now that the weather is nicer. I love it, and they love it, and they get super tired. That, however, makes them go from fun normal boys to INEEDTOGOTOBEDRIGHTNOW children. It's 5:45, and all three of them are asleep.
10. Speaking of sleep, J has been sleeping from about 11-4 or later each night. YAHOO! I love it! I've probably jinxed myself for tonight!
11. Tomorrow D has an Easter party at school, and we're bringing the sandwiches. J&H have a playgroup Easter party also. That means I need to make 20 Easter egg shaped sandwiches, a salad for our playgroup party, get everyone (including myself) bathed and dressed and out the door. All by 8:45! Thank God Chris will be home in the morning!
12. Since everyone is asleep, I'm off to enjoy my scallop dinner by myself in silence while I read an actual book. I love it when that happens!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
While they played out, I decorated my father-in-law's birthday cake. Now, before people go telling me how irresponsible I am to allow my children to play outside by themselves, our yard is fully fenced, gate locked, and I can see them from the window or door in the kitchen. And trust me -- they come in frequently enough that I never have a question of whether or not they're safe. Here's the cake.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
So You Wanna Have A Baby?
Subject: 15-step program for ParenthoodThinking of Having Kids? Do this 15 step program first!
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive) Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle .
3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower .
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
1. Get ready to go out.
2. Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.
3. Go out the front door.
4. Come in again. Go out.
5. Come back in.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.
Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times.
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air. You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!
Monday, March 10, 2008
- 4 Dixie Cups cannot successfully be flushed down our toilet. No matter how much, "I just trying to talk about flushing a couple down!"
- It's not a great idea to ask an almost 3 year old to "please run into Jack's room really quickly and get a burp cloth for me." That translates to, "Please crawl as slowly as you can into Jack's room and when you get there empty the entire container of baby wipes onto the floor. Then please roll around in them and 'clean' underneath the crib. With all of them."
- A floor register for the heat CAN in fact "eat" an entire large container of Legos. And a small jewelry box full of your Gigi's silver bangle bracelets. And this does not make your grandfather happy.
- Peeing on the floor next to the potty is not "almost da same fing" as peeing in it.
- Jack still doesn't have teeth. No matter how many times you pry his mouth open just to check. He's only 7 weeks old.
Life Lessons, by Henry.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Thursday we went back to Super Target (shocker, I know) and got the cutest chick Easter cupcakes. Yes, I bought cupcakes somewhere else! David and Henry were BEGGING for them, so I relented. David ate it like he was a homeless child, and Henry didn't want to touch it so he ate his while bent over the table not using his hands. We also got a cute St. Patrick's day shirt for Jack, some Easter egg placemats, and a bunch of other crap we don't need. And I haven't been back since! Can you believe it?