Monday, December 31, 2007
Who believes this crap on television in the middle of the night? Does anyone REALLY think that Penny on this infomercial bought this information about how to be a power seller on EBay, quit her job, and made $3700 her first week working from home? If you do, you need the "Auctions for Income" system for only $39.95. You can probably buy it on EBay. Patrick is making up to $12,000 a week in sales. He clearly is up in the middle of the night too. And uses Meth so he can be on his computer 24 hours a day to make that money. And DAGMAR averages $5,000-$8,000 a month, which is more than she makes at her full-time job. I think that's a damn lie, because if she really made that much money she'd get her teeth fixed and a new hairstyle before she went on television. Even if it is on in the middle of the night. And what the hell kind of a name is Dagmar?
And I just read an article on Yahoo news about a gang in L.A. The first paragraph made me laugh out loud. Not funny laughing, but laughing because it's so ridiculous. The headline is LA gang F13 accused of targeting blacks. "In a murderous quest aimed at "cleansing" their turf of snitches and rival gangsters, members of one of Los Angeles County's most vicious Latino gangs sometimes killed people just because of their race, an investigation found." HELLO! It's a damn GANG!! Not typically known for their nice behaviors, helpful ways, and tolerance for other people, is it a freaking surprise to anyone that they'll kill someone "just because they're black?" This is the headline article on Yahoo news! Stupid.
I'm sure I'll have more observations, but quite frankly I would rather try to go to sleep than expound about their virtues. . .
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? 90% wrapping paper, 10% gift bags. I try to only use gift bags for things that are odd shapes or when I get really lazy! I like to open stuff.
2. Real tree or artificial? Artificial. I'm not into cleaning up needles.
3. When do you put up the tree? Thanksgiving weekend
4. When do you take the tree down? Usually pretty quickly. Definitely by the 1st of the year.
5. Do you like eggnog? No
6. Favorite gift received as a child? This Barbie type doll that had slits in her arms, legs, etc. and came with fabric so you could design clothes for her. I remember she had huge purple shoes that I loved!
7. Do you have a nativity scene? Yes, two of them. Neither of which were put up this year because of Henry's destructive ways. David keeps asking when we're putting up "Jesus' barn".
8. Hardest person to buy for? Chris
9. Easiest person to buy for? David and Henry
10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I can't really remember a bad gift. . . I'm pretty good at getting the point across regarding what I'd like. As in, a Christmas list with websites, stores, prices, etc. I did get some ugly brown shoes like 15 years ago.
11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. Christmas cards are perhaps my favorite part about Christmas
12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Miracle on 34th St. or A Christmas Story
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever I see something. Usually around October.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I remember.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Hi, I'm pregnant. I think everything's my favorite right now.
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear on our big tree, colored on the boys' tree.
17. Favorite Christmas song? Ave Maria (although not really just for Christmas) and Silent Night. Or We Wish You a Merry Christmas, as sung by Henry.
18. Travel for Christmas or stay at home? Stay home
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, rudolph
20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A star on both of them.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? We open one (typically Christmas pjs) on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas day.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? People are crazy and rude in the stores.
23. What I love most about Christmas? The excitement David and Henry have now that they "get" Christmas.
24. Gift you most want this year? A healthy baby in January. I'll take a delayed gift this year!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Saturday we just hung out at home. We were all pooped! We watched Polar Express (now David's favorite movie?!) three times. Henry never got out of his pajamas and then fell asleep on the couch at 5:15. Our friends Joe and Nicole had a Christmas open house that night, so David and I had a date and went together. It was a nice time with lots of yummy food.
Sunday was a recovery day for David and Henry. They were both exhausted. They took a nice long nap, then we went to see Gigi and Grampy for a while. I wrapped presents last night, and am more than half done. Thank God, considering Christmas is NEXT FREAKING WEEK. How the heck did that happen?
David made a "Christmas mouse" at school today. They do the best crafts. When I picked him up he said, "I want to hang this on the tree. HIGH on the tree, so Henry can't get it." Good idea, since Henry likes to destroy anything he can!!!
D. has his Christmas party at school on Wednesday, which is his last day until after Christmas. Chris will be off starting Friday until after the new year, and it will be nice for the four of us to be able to spend some time together before Jack comes. It's getting so close now!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Tomorrow we're going to see Playhouse Disney Live. Don't be jealous. If you weren't yet, when that's over we're going to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. I know -- you're insane with jealousy. I wish I could drink beer, because I think they serve that at CEC and I might need some. Chris will be working, so he doesn't get to join in the fun. I think he's probably never been so happy to work on a Friday night! It's for D&H's best friend JT's birthday party, so I know they'll have a great time. I hope I can stay awake for the whole thing.
Monday, December 10, 2007
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
David: Daddy, how to babies eat? How will baby Jack eat with no teeth?
Chris: Mommy will feed him special baby milk. (Right, like that was enough of an answer!)
David: From she's boobies?
David: Will you feed the baby from you boobies?
Chris: No, only girls can do that.
David: Will Gigi feed Jack from she's boobies?
Chris: NO! ONLY MOMMY WILL FEED HIM! NO OTHER BOOBIES! EVER! Let's go get some apple juice.
I was in D&H's bedroom yesterday morning getting night diapers off, underpants on, etc. I said, "Are you guys hungry this morning?" Henry replied, yanking his shirt up to his neck, "Yeah Mama. Are you? You want to eat from my boobies like a baby?" Um, no thanks.
David and Henry were yakking in the backseat yesterday and I hear David say, "Oh Damn! Oh brothers! Oh Damn! Oh Brothers!" I said, "What did you just say?" David said, "Oh Damn! Oh Brothers!" I said, "David, we don't say that. It doesn't sound nice." David said, "What? Brothers? I think brothers are nice." I said, "No David, Oh Damn doesn't sound nice." He said, "MAMA! I meant BEAVER DAMN!" Ok, seriously, how does a three year old think that quickly? You know DAMN well he didn't mean beaver damn!!!!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
- Our daily trips to Target. The viewers would love to see me wandering the aisles aimlessly, not buying anything, but just going to get out of the house. Me stuffing my two 40 pound a piece toddlers and my 7 months pregnant self into the available bathroom stall (never the "big one"), flushing the toilet an average of 9 times per visit, two of us peeing and one touching every surface in the stall, and Henry acting as a peeping Tom to every stall around us, then me frantically trying to slather D&H in antibacterial gel before they touch each other or their mouths.
- David and Henry's new favorite game -- naked boy. They both strip and chase each other around the house screaming NAKED BOY! Then some naked wrestling ensues when they finally catch each other. I thought I had like 18 years until that behavior would go on. And hopefully I wouldn't know about it.
- D&H and their obsessions with baginas. Or angina, as David calls it. They talk about them all day long, ask if every freaking person we know has one, and look for their own. Right. Keep looking.
- Dinner at our house. I'm pretty certain that the Real Housewives of OC wouldn't allow their children to eat ranch dressing with a spoon for dinner. Keep in mind that my dinner rule is I pick what's for dinner, you eat what you want off of your plate. If that's ranch dressing, fine. H. opted to ignore the lovely homemade chicken fingers, steamed broccoli, and corn on his plate in favor of the ranch. Yum.
- The laundry. Seriously, do the RHOOC send their laundry out to be cleaned? They never show them doing any.
- I'm sure the main focus of the show would be me going to the bathroom, since that's the main focus of our house. Gone are any days of privacy. I always have an audience. And I mean a CLOSE audience. As in, pretty much touching the bowl while I'm peeing. As in, "Mama, I DON'T WANT IT TO BE SMELLY IN HERE!" When do children learn about privacy and closing the door??
- I'm sure one highlight shown on the commercials would be from last night when we were leaving McDonald's. David and Henry decided they hadn't had quite enough fast food and opted to bolt across the small strip of grass to Sonic instead of getting in the car. As I darted after them and grabbed them I said, "Good Lord boys! Get in the damn car!" and David happily replied, "Yeah Henry, get in the damn car!" Hi, call child protective services now.
I'm positive we'd have high ratings. . . or maybe I should just stick to writing about our daily lives!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Thursday, November 8, 2007
I ran to the grocery store last week for a very quick trip. I was probably gone less than 20 minutes. When I got back, I brought a load of stuff in then ran back out to get the second trip, leaving the door from our kitchen to garage open as I went. I came back in, unloaded the stuff I bought, dropped a gallon of milk and started cleaning it up. Chris came into the kitchen from our computer room and said, "Where's Henry?" I told him I didn't know, and he said, "Wasn't he in here when you got home?" UM, NO! So he goes to the end of the house with the boys room and calls him, and I called him from the kitchen. I hear a tiny voice say, "I in here!" from our master bathroom. Immediately my stomach dropped. I walked quickly through our room, and Henry met me in our room. As he was coming out of the bathroom he said, "I washing with this soap." Right. It wasn't soap covering his belly, arms, and hair. It was an entire bottle of Oil of Olay face moisturizer, and a full tube of VAGISIL. Seriously child, what the hell? Chris came in and said, "What's on him? Diaper cream?" Well, sort of! I said no and Henry said, "What it is?!" I told Chris what it was and Henry said, "Soap for baginas?" So I cleaned him up and thought the incident would be a funny story. It got funnier. . . the next day Henry and I went to Home Depot to look for paint colors. He's sitting in the shopping cart and waving to the man who works at the paint counter. I was looking at paint and I heard Henry say, "I wash my hands bagina cream." To the freaking Home Depot guy. Are you kidding me? The man said, "What did he say?" and I quickly turned to leave while smiling and thanking him. And Henry was screaming, "I WASH MY HANDS BAGINA CREAM!"
We bought our paint at Lowe's.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Here are Jack's latest ultrasound pictures. She was able to see everything that she couldn't last time. I chuckled when I saw in the notes from my last appointment, "Baby uncooperative during U/S". Is that a sign of things to come? I wanted to say, "Uncooperative?! Lady, you should meet his older brothers!" I have no clue what the top picture is. Part of his face, I assume, since that was the main focus of the ultrasound. He kept bringing his hand to his face (waving at me?!), and you can see it in sort of the top right corner of the bottom picture. (If you click on the strip of photos, it will get larger.) He was moving a lot, but not moving around. Kicking, batting his hands, etc. but not rolling around. His development is exactly where it should be and everything looks great. I have all of my appointments scheduled until my delivery. How is that possible?! We're shooting for delivery on January 25th, but my doctor didn't seem really optimistic that I would make it that long. She pointed out that babies don't generally get smaller as you continue to have them, so we're potentially looking at over 9 pounds. Henry was born 4 days earlier than Jack would be if born on the 25th, because I started to go into labor. Obviously knowing I'll be having a c-section delivery she doesn't want me to go into labor naturally. We're going to play it by ear obviously, but we're shooting for January 25th. And with my WAY type-A personality planning issues, I'll be mildly (or not so mildly?!) annoyed if he comes early and all of my planning for child care, etc. doesn't work out!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Monday, October 15, 2007
"Chris has been working overtime like a madman every week for the last month. I hate that he's been working so much, but how can we complain when just six months ago there was the fear of layoff?? We're very fortunate that he's got a job that allows me to stay home with the monkey boys, so I am really trying not to be a whiner about him not being home!"
You posted in the comments, "Nissan has never had a layoff and never will." OK, as you can see, I didn't SAY there was a layoff. I said there was FEAR of a layoff. Clearly two different things. The company asked for people to voluntarily buy out -- known in some circles as a voluntary layoff. Was there fear? You bet there was! In this house anyway, and I'm sure in others. I think it's great if you had no fear of your husband losing his job. With two small children, one of whom was incurring several thousand dollars of medical bills for therapy at Vanderbilt and knowing we were trying to have a baby, hell yes I was nervous that he would get laid off. I wasn't necessarily nervous about him losing his salary. Would that have sucked? Big time! I haven't worked in almost four years because my husband's salary at Nissan allows us to have me stay home with our children. Another point I made in my last post. However, if I had to because my husband lost his job, I am more than capable of going back to work and earning just as much money. I was nervous about losing the health benefits. I don't know anyone else who pays $100 a month for their family contribution to health insurance, and that doesn't even speak to the amazing coverage we've got. And seriously, how do you KNOW they will never have a layoff? You don't. Nobody does.
You said, "Nissan is the absolute best company to work for in Middle Tennessee, and anyone who begs to differ can f-off..." I certainly hope you weren't implying that I should "f-off". If that's the case, hop on over to another stranger's blog and stalk them. I don't disagree that Nissan is the best company to work for in Middle Tennessee. They value their employees, compensate them well, provide excellent benefits, go beyond anything they "need" to do by providing things like Family Day, the vehicle purchase program, extending a discount to friends and families of employees. . . obviously I am a fan. As anyone who KNOWS our family has heard us say time and time again, my husband and I are thrilled that he works for Nissan. I never implied that "our husbands have sucky jobs" in that post, and I don't really know how that was interpreted that way. I even used phrases like, "how can we complain," and "we're very fortunate," as well as pointing out that Nissan provides the FREE family day every year and "it's a great day".
If you thought I was complaining about Nissan, you were mistaken. If you want to read about me complaining about something, keep stalking the blog. I can certainly assure that it will happen soon enough!
From: Girl You Don't Know But Love to Stalk
Sunday, October 14, 2007
- Henry is seriously the sweetest child I know. Since Jenna's (or Jetta as he calls her) birthday party yesterday, he's been wanting to sing Happy Birthday. Any chance he gets. Except we change the words. I have to sing "Happy Birthday to you. . . . . Happy Birthday my baby Henry. . . . " and he sings "Happy Birthday my snuggle mama, happy birthday my snuggle mama, happy birthday my snuggle mama, happy birthdaaaaaaaaaay my snuggle maaaaaaamaaaaaaa! Because I love you!" And we try to blow out imaginary candles, then hug and he says, "I love you so so much snuggle mama." I WANT TO EAT HIM!
- David taught Henry how to ride his tricycle. "Because brothers learn each other stuff." Seriously, two parents in their thirties couldn't explain to him how to do it, but David taught him in about 20 minutes by saying, "Run on you pedals Henry! Run fast on them!" David was so proud of Henry when he did it for the first time. It was so cute to see.
- David and Henry are thinking they don't need naps anymore. I think they do. David went to bed at 5:15 yesterday and slept all night, and tonight they were both asleep in bed by 5. By their own choice! I know it will bite me tomorrow morning, but I've gotten so much done tonight! I ate my dinner in such nice quiet, all in one sitting, without having to get up sixteen times for something. I was even able to read the entire Sunday newspaper without interruption. I mopped the kitchen floor (my least favorite chore, but I love the results) and have started to fold the six loads of laundry I did today. I baked a cake and organized some baby clothes. After I finish the laundry I'm going to start cutting some material out to start some burp cloths for the baby. They're my favorite baby thing to make! Pray for David and Henry to sleep AT LEAST until 5:30 tomorrow!!! I'm going to be preemptive about it and go to bed early myself, just in case!
After the carnival we went to Jenna's third birthday party. David started asking where the cake was as soon as we got there. Clearly he takes after his mama! We had a great time but had to leave early to go deliver a cake. When we left Jenna's mom loaded us up with a HUGE tote full of clothes for the baby. If I said that Henry was going to be nicknamed Hand-me-down Henry, for sure this child will be Second-hand Jack! And yes, that means he actually has a name! Can you believe it? Three whole months before he's going to arrive. That's a record at the Simpson house. His name will be Jack Ryan Simpson. I love it!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
2. Eight assorted wooden Thomas the Tank Engine trains and two Matchbox cars fit inside my grandmother's silver tea pot. But you can't close the lid all the way.
3. Approximately 75 diaper wipes will NOT go down the toilet. Well, they'll go down, but nothing else will. And it will all come back up.
4. The entire bottle of cinnamon sugar will cover the top of my coffee table. And, as a bonus, make a "great track" for Emily the train and her tender. Cinnamon sugar, when driven through on said coffee table by said train leaves scratches in the wood.
5. Chapstick (cherry flavor) is not toxic when you eat the entire tube while hiding behind the bedroom door. But "it makes my tongue feel real funny".
6. The toilet paper at David's preschool is magic. It allows you to "follow the road to the fabulous bathroom of fun!" when you unroll it into the classroom while simultaneously pooping your pants instead of using the toilet!
I'm sure they'll teach me much more in the future. Thankfully, what I've learned the fastest is that I am able to have a great sense of humor!