The Real Housewife of Bedford County: What's New

Um, OK. Nothing's new. I last updated on Thursday, so let's start with Friday. What did we do. . . ran some errands, paid my speeding ticket, and I think that's about it. The boys asked to go to the mall play area, but they took marathon naps so it didn't happen.

Saturday morning we took them and had lunch at the mall. That was a big treat for the boys, because we never do it. Such a big deal in fact that David said today when he got home from school, "Someday soon this week today can we eat pizza at the mall again?" After we played at the mall we walked around a bit, then went to Gigi's house to visit. We left there and checked out gazebo thingys for our patio. Since our tree blew over in October, we now have ZERO shade in the backyard. Hi, we live in Tennessee. It's hot here in the summer. Chris wasn't sold on one, but he is now. I suspect he'll be putting it together on Saturday if it's nice out. That will get him a free pass out of going to a birthday party with us! Saturday night we had a fire in our fire pit and the boys did some sparklers. They thought they were really cool. Chris and I put the boys to bed and ate our dinner outside. It was very nice, minus the serenade by one neighbor's barking dog and another's electronic bug zapper. Thus is life in suburbia.

I found a Craftsman style home online that I love, it has four bedrooms, and isn't outrageously expensive. http://nashville.craigslist.org/rfs/654412012.html However, it's not in my dream neighborhood. It's in an area that's undergoing a lot of, shall we say, revival? They're trying to gussy up the 'hood and make it nice. The houses are beautiful that have been renovated, but the turf is still a little tough. There our nighttime dinner serenade wouldn't be dogs and bug zappers -- it would be hookers and gun fire. As much as I would never go for moving somewhere our closest neighbors were not within sight (Chris' dream), he would never go for somewhere we could walk our children to school. Past the chop shop with the razor wire surrounding the fence on the opposite side of our block. We'll find our collective dream home -- I just think it will take a while.

Yesterday was a rare treat for me -- Chris took the big boys to his parents' house. For. The. Day. I was alone with just Jack from 10 until 5. It's amazing to me what I can get done when nobody else is here! I did a cake, vacuumed the house, cleaned out the boys' closets and dressers to get the clothes they've grown out of cleaned out, dusted the whole house, did laundry, washed the windows, cooked dinner, and enjoyed the quiet.

David I believe turned 14, not four. He's got the attitude of a teenager and the mouth of a trucker lately. Tonight when I told them they had 5 minutes until bed he said, "You're stupid Mama." I told him that was disrespectful, rude, and hurt my feelings and he was not allowed to speak to people that way. He said, "Well excuse me. You hurt my feelings when you scream at me." Touche. And I don't scream at him. I told him I would wash his mouth out with soap the next time he spoke to me in a disrespectful way. He said, "Do it. I fink it will taste good." I fink he'll probably find out tomorrow how it tastes.

All they've wanted to do lately is ride their bicycles or play board games. Hi-Ho Cherry-O, Candy Land, Don't Spill the Beans, Shoots and Ladders, and Hungry, Hungry, Hippos. Maybe you don't know this about me, but I love rules. DON'T BREAK THE FREAKING RULES WHEN YOU PLAY A GAME! Shoots and Ladders is the worst. I seriously get stressed out playing with them. Damn cheaters. Well, I don't have to worry about it for two days, because nobody would help me pick up the cherries from HHCO. All 40 of them. They "rained" in the living room. No games for two days. I think it will be worse for me than them.

Jack has started eating some food.

I thought Jack would be more like David's body type than like Henry's, but I'm starting to potentially rethink that. He's a

hog! I had to get a shot of his chubby legs. It's my favorite place to snack on him! I'll be very curious to see what his weight is at his next appointment.